"Life Changes"
By Mike Wier
I find the beginning of a new year to always be a very reflective time for me. What have I achieved in the previous year? How am I now compared to the year before? What have I done to better myself overall? These are a few of the questions I quietly ponder to myself whilst I go about my daily activities. For myself, it is especially important to see where I have come since the loss of my brother, Frankie. Frankie passed away in 2014 and ever since my life has had its fair share of ups and downs (though to be honest, mostly downs: but that doesn’t have to be a bad thing). If I were to reflect on the person I was immediately following the passing of my brother versus the person I am now I would conclude that I have changed considerably. So, what has my journey been like these couple of years?
To start off I would have to describe the situation I was in prior to my brother passing. I was still a college student (as I am now) and I was trying to have the time of my life. I was and am still pretty young and I wanted to make the most of my years. I would go out with friends very frequently and would just want to have fun. When my little brother passed, it hit me like a stone wall. The only thing is, I didn’t know how to manifest my feelings. I didn’t want to be sad. I wanted people to see me as a positive person. I wanted my friends to still look up to me. In essence, I wasn’t being true to myself and it led me down a deeper hole. This, in turn, made 2014 the hardest year of my life so far full of confusion, frustration, pain, and loss. Hindsight is 20/20 and given the opportunity to own a time machine, I would have gone back in the past, smacked myself in the face, and said that it’s okay! Be who you are. This is an important lesson I learned and am still in the process of perfecting.
To look at where I am now, I am no longer how I used to be. I am honest with myself. If I am sad I will allow myself to be sad. I am no longer in constant pain or worry. There are many things that have changed with me. I think, in the future I will tell of all these things, but it is another story for another time. Although, my journey is far from over and I still have a ways to go before I am the person I envision myself being. I believe that with hard work, confidence, and faith I will be able to accomplish this.
I am writing about this to simply show the difference of my being today vs. the beginning of 2014 after my brother’s passing. My aim with being the leader of the Grief Support Group is to show my experiences to other siblings who have experienced loss and hopefully draw parallels to one another. So in that regard, if you are a sibling who has experienced loss, I ask for you to do the same. Assess where you are now versus where you were immediately following the passing of your loved sibling. How long has it been? What has changed within you? I would love to hear some of your thoughts.
Since I am new to this, I hope I am on the right course with what I am trying to convey in this message. Soon, I will tell stories of my brother and the beautiful relationship we had, and also more about what losing Frankie has done to me and my journey through the grieving process. If you guys ever have any suggestions please let me know.
By Mike Wier
I find the beginning of a new year to always be a very reflective time for me. What have I achieved in the previous year? How am I now compared to the year before? What have I done to better myself overall? These are a few of the questions I quietly ponder to myself whilst I go about my daily activities. For myself, it is especially important to see where I have come since the loss of my brother, Frankie. Frankie passed away in 2014 and ever since my life has had its fair share of ups and downs (though to be honest, mostly downs: but that doesn’t have to be a bad thing). If I were to reflect on the person I was immediately following the passing of my brother versus the person I am now I would conclude that I have changed considerably. So, what has my journey been like these couple of years?
To start off I would have to describe the situation I was in prior to my brother passing. I was still a college student (as I am now) and I was trying to have the time of my life. I was and am still pretty young and I wanted to make the most of my years. I would go out with friends very frequently and would just want to have fun. When my little brother passed, it hit me like a stone wall. The only thing is, I didn’t know how to manifest my feelings. I didn’t want to be sad. I wanted people to see me as a positive person. I wanted my friends to still look up to me. In essence, I wasn’t being true to myself and it led me down a deeper hole. This, in turn, made 2014 the hardest year of my life so far full of confusion, frustration, pain, and loss. Hindsight is 20/20 and given the opportunity to own a time machine, I would have gone back in the past, smacked myself in the face, and said that it’s okay! Be who you are. This is an important lesson I learned and am still in the process of perfecting.
To look at where I am now, I am no longer how I used to be. I am honest with myself. If I am sad I will allow myself to be sad. I am no longer in constant pain or worry. There are many things that have changed with me. I think, in the future I will tell of all these things, but it is another story for another time. Although, my journey is far from over and I still have a ways to go before I am the person I envision myself being. I believe that with hard work, confidence, and faith I will be able to accomplish this.
I am writing about this to simply show the difference of my being today vs. the beginning of 2014 after my brother’s passing. My aim with being the leader of the Grief Support Group is to show my experiences to other siblings who have experienced loss and hopefully draw parallels to one another. So in that regard, if you are a sibling who has experienced loss, I ask for you to do the same. Assess where you are now versus where you were immediately following the passing of your loved sibling. How long has it been? What has changed within you? I would love to hear some of your thoughts.
Since I am new to this, I hope I am on the right course with what I am trying to convey in this message. Soon, I will tell stories of my brother and the beautiful relationship we had, and also more about what losing Frankie has done to me and my journey through the grieving process. If you guys ever have any suggestions please let me know.
Siblings with a Mission is a non-profit, international organization established to serve and support siblings of individuals with special needs. All images are found on Google images and are solely used for education purposes. The stories and advice provided by Siblings with a Mission are not to be replaced by professional advice and counseling but to be considered as an additional source of support.
