"Growing Up and Getting Older,"
By Katy Malnight
I had to stand in front of my brother and tell him to wipe today. We’re both eighteen. It’s odd to have an older sibling with special needs. Bad behavior isn’t cute anymore. Screaming at church isn’t acceptable. My brother Alex does not look “normal,” mainly because of the way he carries himself. His voice is clearly that of a disabled man. Yes, I said man. Because whether I like it or not, we are both growing up. Alex is capable in many ways, but not so in many others. He needs help feeding himself. He has to use a cane, and he does things that aren’t socially acceptable - like howling in a restaurant at the sight of fire. But I love him. I love him so so much, and it scares me to think of how the outside world will view him. I know the jab “retard,” will come - but it isn’t “acceptable” to punch the speaker in the face. I want the world to stay kind to Alex. I want it to adore him as much as I do.
I worked with a thirty-five year-old man for a summer. He had cerebral palsy, and it was hard to understand him when he spoke. I visited him at his group home once, and I saw him listlessly staring out a window, his eyes glassy. I don’t want that for my brother. I don’t want him to be stuck in a place that under stimulates him, that makes him docile.
The question of the “living situation after the parents die” has been asked to me by a couple of people. For almost thirteen years, I have wanted Alex to live with me - and I still very much do. But life changes, and I think our lives will change with it. All I know is that I want my brother to be happy. I want to see him with a smile on his face, singing Sesame Street and eating pizza. I want to see him flourish. I’m just not sure how that’s going to work.
Siblings with a Mission is a non-profit, international organization established to serve and support siblings of individuals with special needs. All images are found on Google images and are solely used for educational purposes. The stories and advice provided by Siblings with a Mission are not to be replaced by professional advice and counseling but to be considered as an additional source of support.
By Katy Malnight
I had to stand in front of my brother and tell him to wipe today. We’re both eighteen. It’s odd to have an older sibling with special needs. Bad behavior isn’t cute anymore. Screaming at church isn’t acceptable. My brother Alex does not look “normal,” mainly because of the way he carries himself. His voice is clearly that of a disabled man. Yes, I said man. Because whether I like it or not, we are both growing up. Alex is capable in many ways, but not so in many others. He needs help feeding himself. He has to use a cane, and he does things that aren’t socially acceptable - like howling in a restaurant at the sight of fire. But I love him. I love him so so much, and it scares me to think of how the outside world will view him. I know the jab “retard,” will come - but it isn’t “acceptable” to punch the speaker in the face. I want the world to stay kind to Alex. I want it to adore him as much as I do.
I worked with a thirty-five year-old man for a summer. He had cerebral palsy, and it was hard to understand him when he spoke. I visited him at his group home once, and I saw him listlessly staring out a window, his eyes glassy. I don’t want that for my brother. I don’t want him to be stuck in a place that under stimulates him, that makes him docile.
The question of the “living situation after the parents die” has been asked to me by a couple of people. For almost thirteen years, I have wanted Alex to live with me - and I still very much do. But life changes, and I think our lives will change with it. All I know is that I want my brother to be happy. I want to see him with a smile on his face, singing Sesame Street and eating pizza. I want to see him flourish. I’m just not sure how that’s going to work.
Siblings with a Mission is a non-profit, international organization established to serve and support siblings of individuals with special needs. All images are found on Google images and are solely used for educational purposes. The stories and advice provided by Siblings with a Mission are not to be replaced by professional advice and counseling but to be considered as an additional source of support.
