"Graduate Gratitude,"
By Kathryn McNamara
At the age of 25, I finally graduated from state university. While I didn't achieve this milestone as early as some of my peers, I can confidently say that I am proud of my accomplishment. Interestingly, this was the first graduation where I couldn't walk across the stage to receive my diploma. In the past, I had experienced unfortunate incidents during previous graduation ceremonies, such as fainting at my high school graduation. Thankfully, I was spared from the embarrassment of fainting on stage. Similarly, my community college commencement felt like an eternity of shame as I didn't receive any honors recognition while it seemed like everyone else did.
Not much has changed since those experiences. I remained a traditional graduate who simply walked during the ceremony. Surprisingly, the lack of extra awards and applause didn't bother me as much this time. For once, I was proud of the person I had become, regardless of whether I received recognition or not. Strangely enough, this sentiment resonated with my twin brother who has autism spectrum disorder.
The graduation ceremony was scheduled for the spring, following the completion of the fall semester. I received an email stating that there were no restrictions on tickets, except for accessible seating for my sibling who needed to avoid overstimulation and sensory overload. The email was excessively wordy, and the crucial steps were written in tiny font, making it easy to overlook. Although I had a type A personality and intended to order the tickets promptly, I missed the deceivingly unnoticeable due date at the end of the email page. Caught up in the busyness of adult life, I ended up forgetting to pick up the tickets. Consequently, my biggest supporter, my twin brother, couldn't attend my graduation. It was the first time I had made plans for him to be there, and I was devastated by this unexpected tragedy. I had always longed for a complete family, and the realization that only my mother could be there hit me hard. I was happy for her, but deeply saddened for both of us.
I share my story to offer solace to other siblings facing similar adversities. You are not alone in your struggles. This experience opened my eyes to the fact that I had previously graduated without fully appreciating the presence of my twin brother, who was often my sole supporter. I now hold those memories with greater appreciation. It has helped me understand that the path I have walked hasn't been easy, but I am grateful for the resilience I have developed. If you identify as a survivor, then you should be proud of yourself too. Although I often felt gloomy about not being proud of my own achievements, a realization struck me, bringing me back to reality. I am grateful for the opportunities academia has provided me, allowing me to meet advocates such as past teachers and professors, a few friends who were better than none, and some non-immediate family members who crossed my path even when I felt isolated and invisible. I strive to find the silver lining in the challenges I have faced and carry on.
By Kathryn McNamara
At the age of 25, I finally graduated from state university. While I didn't achieve this milestone as early as some of my peers, I can confidently say that I am proud of my accomplishment. Interestingly, this was the first graduation where I couldn't walk across the stage to receive my diploma. In the past, I had experienced unfortunate incidents during previous graduation ceremonies, such as fainting at my high school graduation. Thankfully, I was spared from the embarrassment of fainting on stage. Similarly, my community college commencement felt like an eternity of shame as I didn't receive any honors recognition while it seemed like everyone else did.
Not much has changed since those experiences. I remained a traditional graduate who simply walked during the ceremony. Surprisingly, the lack of extra awards and applause didn't bother me as much this time. For once, I was proud of the person I had become, regardless of whether I received recognition or not. Strangely enough, this sentiment resonated with my twin brother who has autism spectrum disorder.
The graduation ceremony was scheduled for the spring, following the completion of the fall semester. I received an email stating that there were no restrictions on tickets, except for accessible seating for my sibling who needed to avoid overstimulation and sensory overload. The email was excessively wordy, and the crucial steps were written in tiny font, making it easy to overlook. Although I had a type A personality and intended to order the tickets promptly, I missed the deceivingly unnoticeable due date at the end of the email page. Caught up in the busyness of adult life, I ended up forgetting to pick up the tickets. Consequently, my biggest supporter, my twin brother, couldn't attend my graduation. It was the first time I had made plans for him to be there, and I was devastated by this unexpected tragedy. I had always longed for a complete family, and the realization that only my mother could be there hit me hard. I was happy for her, but deeply saddened for both of us.
I share my story to offer solace to other siblings facing similar adversities. You are not alone in your struggles. This experience opened my eyes to the fact that I had previously graduated without fully appreciating the presence of my twin brother, who was often my sole supporter. I now hold those memories with greater appreciation. It has helped me understand that the path I have walked hasn't been easy, but I am grateful for the resilience I have developed. If you identify as a survivor, then you should be proud of yourself too. Although I often felt gloomy about not being proud of my own achievements, a realization struck me, bringing me back to reality. I am grateful for the opportunities academia has provided me, allowing me to meet advocates such as past teachers and professors, a few friends who were better than none, and some non-immediate family members who crossed my path even when I felt isolated and invisible. I strive to find the silver lining in the challenges I have faced and carry on.
Siblings with a Mission is a non-profit, international organization established to serve and support siblings of individuals with complex health conditions and developmental disabilities. All images are found on Google images and are solely used for educational purposes. The stories and advice provided by Siblings with a Mission are not to be replaced by professional advice and counseling but to be considered as an additional source of support.