"Advice on Dealing with Anniversaries and Their Death Period (How I Deal With Them)"
By Perri Bryan Elliott
1) Remember that time does not heal all wounds. I don’t know why people say this. Honestly, this saying drives me crazy. It’s been ten years now since I lost my brother and I’ve learned how to manage the pain but it has definitely not healed.
2) Now is the time to be selfish. Worry about and focus on you. You cannot help your family all the time or you will fall apart eventually.
3) Remember everyone heals differently and that's okay. If you want to spend anniversaries alone or celebrating and people don’t understand, it doesn't matter. Whatever works for you, works for you. That's what matters.
4) Focus on the good memories. This may sound like an easy one but some times on dark days, those scary days and scary memories flash back. Don't focus on those. Remember the good times; times when they were laughing and smiling.
5) If you have old home videos, watch them. Or spend this day doing all of their favorite things; watch their favorite TV shows and movies; eat their favorite food; do their favorite activities; do anything that reminds you of them and makes you smile.
6) Try not to push everyone away. If your gonna cry, cry to someone even if it's your dog. It helps when days are hard. Also, you don’t want to push everyone away because when you do need someone, you don’t want to not have anyone to call on.
7) Talk about them frequently. It's been 10 years now and sometimes I catch myself using present verbs like he's still alive. At first, I'd have to stop and break down but now I've realized that maybe that's just his little way of reminding me that he is still here, and he always will be. So, if that ever happens, don't lose it (or try not to) just smile and remember they're there with you, always.
8) Live for them. Do all the things you know they would want you to do. Do what makes you happy. Do what makes you love life. You know your brother or sister would want you to live a happy life, so do that. Do all the things they weren't able to do because of this stupid disease. This is one thing I try and do, especially lately. I've tried doing things that scare me and doing things I always wanted to do because I know being happy and living life is what my brother would want me to be doing.
By Perri Bryan Elliott
1) Remember that time does not heal all wounds. I don’t know why people say this. Honestly, this saying drives me crazy. It’s been ten years now since I lost my brother and I’ve learned how to manage the pain but it has definitely not healed.
2) Now is the time to be selfish. Worry about and focus on you. You cannot help your family all the time or you will fall apart eventually.
3) Remember everyone heals differently and that's okay. If you want to spend anniversaries alone or celebrating and people don’t understand, it doesn't matter. Whatever works for you, works for you. That's what matters.
4) Focus on the good memories. This may sound like an easy one but some times on dark days, those scary days and scary memories flash back. Don't focus on those. Remember the good times; times when they were laughing and smiling.
5) If you have old home videos, watch them. Or spend this day doing all of their favorite things; watch their favorite TV shows and movies; eat their favorite food; do their favorite activities; do anything that reminds you of them and makes you smile.
6) Try not to push everyone away. If your gonna cry, cry to someone even if it's your dog. It helps when days are hard. Also, you don’t want to push everyone away because when you do need someone, you don’t want to not have anyone to call on.
7) Talk about them frequently. It's been 10 years now and sometimes I catch myself using present verbs like he's still alive. At first, I'd have to stop and break down but now I've realized that maybe that's just his little way of reminding me that he is still here, and he always will be. So, if that ever happens, don't lose it (or try not to) just smile and remember they're there with you, always.
8) Live for them. Do all the things you know they would want you to do. Do what makes you happy. Do what makes you love life. You know your brother or sister would want you to live a happy life, so do that. Do all the things they weren't able to do because of this stupid disease. This is one thing I try and do, especially lately. I've tried doing things that scare me and doing things I always wanted to do because I know being happy and living life is what my brother would want me to be doing.
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Siblings with a Mission is a non-profit, international organization established to serve and support siblings of individuals with special needs. All images are found on Google images and are solely used for educational purposes. The stories and advice provided by Siblings with a Mission are not to be replaced by professional advice and counseling but to be considered as an additional source of support.
