"Looking Back in Love"
By: Analía Rodriguez, Leader and Editor of the Down Syndrome Group
I know a lot of you struggle with people looking at you and your family. All of those eyes burning holes in you. Watching you walk by like you are the new attraction in a museum. I used to look at these people with the “What are you looking at?” look. The “Have you never seen an adorable family like mine?” Then came the whispers, little kids asking their parents, “What’s wrong with him?” Then the big hush, “Honey, you can’t point at people like that!” and the look of pity they would give as they would walk past us.
There was actually one time when I went to Sunday school with my brother Eli, when one of the little girls in the class came straight to me and asked what was wrong with my brother. I used to automatically jump into defensive mode, saying “There is NOTHING wrong with him!” As I started to grow up, however, I learned how to answer these hard questions to the little kids that have never been exposed to “different” children.
First, I point out that there actually is not anything wrong with my brother. I explain that it may take my brother a little bit longer to do some things, and that he may not learn as fast as other kids do, but he is perfectly healthy and happy. For little kids, that is about as much as they need to know until they are able to understand the diversity of our world a little better.
Now, I have a new mindset on those laser eyes that follow us. Those disdainful returned looks are a thing of the past. The burns from those eyes have scarred over and are just reminders of the old days. Now, when I feel those eyes, all I feel is proud that those eyes are seeing me next to my wonderful brother. There are even times when I see people look at us, and I forget why people tend to stare at us. I forget that Eli is considered different. But, when I remember, I take pride in being the one to be walking next to him. I also sometimes feel bad for the ones that look on in pity. I feel bad because those pitiful lookers clearly do not know what it means to live a life surrounded by special needs and so much love.
Slowly, but surely the world will be exposed to the wonders and love of special needs. The better we react to the onlookers; the better the world will see us. We, their siblings, are the spokespeople for all of those who cannot speak for themselves. We are the ones the onlookers are looking at. It is important that we act in grace and kindness. We need to accept those looks, and we should realize that those people looking at us are learning from us. The majority of this world does not understand the quality of life our siblings live. They do not understand the impact that our siblings have not only on our lives but also the lives around us. When some of these people are looking at us, and we return their looks with smiles and compassion, those people get a small look into the wonderful lives we get to live. They see the happiness not only in us, but when we are happy it usually shows in our siblings as well.
So, the next time you feel those eyes lingering on you; look back in love.
Siblings with a Mission is a non-profit, international organization established to serve and support siblings of individuals with special needs. All images are found on Google images and are solely used for education purposes. The stories and advice provided by Siblings with a Mission are not to be replaced by professional advice and counseling but to be considered as an additional source of support.
By: Analía Rodriguez, Leader and Editor of the Down Syndrome Group
I know a lot of you struggle with people looking at you and your family. All of those eyes burning holes in you. Watching you walk by like you are the new attraction in a museum. I used to look at these people with the “What are you looking at?” look. The “Have you never seen an adorable family like mine?” Then came the whispers, little kids asking their parents, “What’s wrong with him?” Then the big hush, “Honey, you can’t point at people like that!” and the look of pity they would give as they would walk past us.
There was actually one time when I went to Sunday school with my brother Eli, when one of the little girls in the class came straight to me and asked what was wrong with my brother. I used to automatically jump into defensive mode, saying “There is NOTHING wrong with him!” As I started to grow up, however, I learned how to answer these hard questions to the little kids that have never been exposed to “different” children.
First, I point out that there actually is not anything wrong with my brother. I explain that it may take my brother a little bit longer to do some things, and that he may not learn as fast as other kids do, but he is perfectly healthy and happy. For little kids, that is about as much as they need to know until they are able to understand the diversity of our world a little better.
Now, I have a new mindset on those laser eyes that follow us. Those disdainful returned looks are a thing of the past. The burns from those eyes have scarred over and are just reminders of the old days. Now, when I feel those eyes, all I feel is proud that those eyes are seeing me next to my wonderful brother. There are even times when I see people look at us, and I forget why people tend to stare at us. I forget that Eli is considered different. But, when I remember, I take pride in being the one to be walking next to him. I also sometimes feel bad for the ones that look on in pity. I feel bad because those pitiful lookers clearly do not know what it means to live a life surrounded by special needs and so much love.
Slowly, but surely the world will be exposed to the wonders and love of special needs. The better we react to the onlookers; the better the world will see us. We, their siblings, are the spokespeople for all of those who cannot speak for themselves. We are the ones the onlookers are looking at. It is important that we act in grace and kindness. We need to accept those looks, and we should realize that those people looking at us are learning from us. The majority of this world does not understand the quality of life our siblings live. They do not understand the impact that our siblings have not only on our lives but also the lives around us. When some of these people are looking at us, and we return their looks with smiles and compassion, those people get a small look into the wonderful lives we get to live. They see the happiness not only in us, but when we are happy it usually shows in our siblings as well.
So, the next time you feel those eyes lingering on you; look back in love.
Siblings with a Mission is a non-profit, international organization established to serve and support siblings of individuals with special needs. All images are found on Google images and are solely used for education purposes. The stories and advice provided by Siblings with a Mission are not to be replaced by professional advice and counseling but to be considered as an additional source of support.
