"7 Life Lessons You Learn When Your Sibling Has a Developmental Disability,"
By Andrea Poteet-Bell
In the United States, it is estimated that one in every six children between 3 and 17 years old has one or more developmental disabilities. While this is just a statistic, it represents real humans who belong to families. Fortunately, the conversations to raise awareness about developmental disabilities, especially in children, have increased in frequency in the past decade, and so has the awareness.
That said, we rarely talk about the effect of having a sibling with developmental disabilities on one's upbringing. And while it’s easier to jump onto the negatives and the challenges these siblings face, today, let’s focus on the opposite.
Growing up with a sibling with a developmental disability can benefit you and positively influence your life. Your sister or brother with a developmental disability may not get through life the same way you do, but they sure get by. And watching them overcome challenges could teach you a couple of very necessary life lessons. Here are 7 of them.
1. Patience: The Best Gift To Give
When growing up with a sibling with a disability, you watch your parents take care of them and with time, you learn to do so as well. Of course, the level of support required may vary depending on the developmental disability.
Irrespective of the support required, the need to understand their developmental disability and accept that they navigate life differently than you do is a constant. You also learn to allow them to do things at their pace while extending grace and kindness to them.
This is what patience is all about. Even better, learning it in your foundational years will come in handy later in life.
2. Optimism To Get You Through Anything
There is something so beautiful about watching your sibling with a developmental disability thrive and live their life to the fullest despite their challenges. What’s more, this positive outlook and attitude of life tends to rub off on you, especially when you are surrounded by a family committed to creating an optimistic environment for your sibling.
When you learn to make that conscious decision to be hopeful about the future — whether it’s the next 5 minutes or the next 10 years, you have a tool to navigate life’s ups and downs confidently. There’s always an upside in any situation, even the difficult ones.
3. Resilience To Weather The Storms
The truth about having a sibling with a developmental disability is that everything is not always rosy. For instance, managing conditions such as Down syndrome and cerebral palsy can be quite challenging. Parents of children with developmental disabilities report higher parenting stress levels than parents of typically developing children. These challenges could lead to substance abuse for some caregivers and parents.
As a sibling, the skills we learn when navigating these challenging times become our shield. While our upbringing and experiences include a good share of challenges, what comes out of it is tenacity and resilience. We learn how to be strong in the toughest situations. It’s safe to say that whatever curveball life throws at us, we know we will survive.
4. Effective Communication Is A Lifestyle
It’s common for people with a developmental disability to experience communication difficulties, making spending time together, playing, talking, and having fun a bit more challenging. As a result, we as siblings need to find alternative communication modes that work with and for them. For instance, we learn to read behavioral cues and hear what is not being said either verbally or nonverbally.
What’s more, we learn how to best express our feelings, fears, frustrations, and challenges not only to our sibling with a developmental disability, but to our parents and supporters as well.
5. Adaptability & Flexibility: For Everyday Life
Greek Philosopher Heraclitus said that the only constant in life is change. This is especially evident when living with a sibling with a developmental disability. We learn to accommodate them and their different abilities in every task and aspect of our lives. And we see the world not only from our perspective, but also from theirs.
The ease of learning to adapt and be flexible is a common experience when you have a sibling with a developmental disability. So no matter what situation or environment we find ourselves in, we naturally know how to compromise to ensure that every party involved is accommodated and satisfied.
6. Empathy: A Little Goes A Long Way
Alfred Adler, the Austrian psychotherapist, described empathy as seeing with the eyes of another, listening with the ears of another, and feeling with the heart of another. This is what having a sibling with a developmental disability teaches you.
The first-hand witnessing of what it means to be abled differently and how that affects how you go through life makes it possible to easily put ourselves in the shoes of others and be mindful of their challenges.
7. Be A Hero: Every Single Day
This might be the last life lesson on our list, but it is by no means the least. Actually, it is the most rewarding. We are our sibling’s fiercest protector, biggest cheerleader, strongest advocate, and forever best friend. Now isn’t that the definition of a hero?
What’s more, we know how important it is to be all these to someone. Even better, this helps us not only be heroes to our sibling with a developmental disability, but also to those around us who need it.
Having a sibling with a developmental disability can be challenging. But it can also be very fulfilling — we are positively influenced and acquire life lessons that will make navigating life less challenging. So today, celebrate your sibling with a disability a little bit more.
Sources:
cdc.gov - Developmental Disabilities Facts
nacdd.org/ddam1 - Developmental Disabilities Awareness Month
digitalcommons.liberty.edu –Possible Psychosocial Benefits of Having a Sibling with a Disability
courses.lumenlearning.com – working with people with developmental disabilities
dsagsl.org – Behavior Guide for Down syndrome
ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2811332/#R34 - Parenting Children with Developmental Delays: The Role of Positive Beliefs
Sunshinebehavioralhealth.com - substance abuse treatment services
nidcd.nih.gov - Autism Spectrum Disorder Communication Problems Children
deronschool.org – Children with Developmental Disabilities 5 Communication Tips
Picture: www.tradingwithrayner.com/life-lessons/
Siblings with a Mission is a non-profit, international organization established to serve and support siblings of individuals with complex health conditions and developmental disabilities. All images are found on Google images and are solely used for educational purposes. The stories and advice provided by Siblings with a Mission are not to be replaced by professional advice and counseling but to be considered as an additional source of support.
By Andrea Poteet-Bell
In the United States, it is estimated that one in every six children between 3 and 17 years old has one or more developmental disabilities. While this is just a statistic, it represents real humans who belong to families. Fortunately, the conversations to raise awareness about developmental disabilities, especially in children, have increased in frequency in the past decade, and so has the awareness.
That said, we rarely talk about the effect of having a sibling with developmental disabilities on one's upbringing. And while it’s easier to jump onto the negatives and the challenges these siblings face, today, let’s focus on the opposite.
Growing up with a sibling with a developmental disability can benefit you and positively influence your life. Your sister or brother with a developmental disability may not get through life the same way you do, but they sure get by. And watching them overcome challenges could teach you a couple of very necessary life lessons. Here are 7 of them.
1. Patience: The Best Gift To Give
When growing up with a sibling with a disability, you watch your parents take care of them and with time, you learn to do so as well. Of course, the level of support required may vary depending on the developmental disability.
Irrespective of the support required, the need to understand their developmental disability and accept that they navigate life differently than you do is a constant. You also learn to allow them to do things at their pace while extending grace and kindness to them.
This is what patience is all about. Even better, learning it in your foundational years will come in handy later in life.
2. Optimism To Get You Through Anything
There is something so beautiful about watching your sibling with a developmental disability thrive and live their life to the fullest despite their challenges. What’s more, this positive outlook and attitude of life tends to rub off on you, especially when you are surrounded by a family committed to creating an optimistic environment for your sibling.
When you learn to make that conscious decision to be hopeful about the future — whether it’s the next 5 minutes or the next 10 years, you have a tool to navigate life’s ups and downs confidently. There’s always an upside in any situation, even the difficult ones.
3. Resilience To Weather The Storms
The truth about having a sibling with a developmental disability is that everything is not always rosy. For instance, managing conditions such as Down syndrome and cerebral palsy can be quite challenging. Parents of children with developmental disabilities report higher parenting stress levels than parents of typically developing children. These challenges could lead to substance abuse for some caregivers and parents.
As a sibling, the skills we learn when navigating these challenging times become our shield. While our upbringing and experiences include a good share of challenges, what comes out of it is tenacity and resilience. We learn how to be strong in the toughest situations. It’s safe to say that whatever curveball life throws at us, we know we will survive.
4. Effective Communication Is A Lifestyle
It’s common for people with a developmental disability to experience communication difficulties, making spending time together, playing, talking, and having fun a bit more challenging. As a result, we as siblings need to find alternative communication modes that work with and for them. For instance, we learn to read behavioral cues and hear what is not being said either verbally or nonverbally.
What’s more, we learn how to best express our feelings, fears, frustrations, and challenges not only to our sibling with a developmental disability, but to our parents and supporters as well.
5. Adaptability & Flexibility: For Everyday Life
Greek Philosopher Heraclitus said that the only constant in life is change. This is especially evident when living with a sibling with a developmental disability. We learn to accommodate them and their different abilities in every task and aspect of our lives. And we see the world not only from our perspective, but also from theirs.
The ease of learning to adapt and be flexible is a common experience when you have a sibling with a developmental disability. So no matter what situation or environment we find ourselves in, we naturally know how to compromise to ensure that every party involved is accommodated and satisfied.
6. Empathy: A Little Goes A Long Way
Alfred Adler, the Austrian psychotherapist, described empathy as seeing with the eyes of another, listening with the ears of another, and feeling with the heart of another. This is what having a sibling with a developmental disability teaches you.
The first-hand witnessing of what it means to be abled differently and how that affects how you go through life makes it possible to easily put ourselves in the shoes of others and be mindful of their challenges.
7. Be A Hero: Every Single Day
This might be the last life lesson on our list, but it is by no means the least. Actually, it is the most rewarding. We are our sibling’s fiercest protector, biggest cheerleader, strongest advocate, and forever best friend. Now isn’t that the definition of a hero?
What’s more, we know how important it is to be all these to someone. Even better, this helps us not only be heroes to our sibling with a developmental disability, but also to those around us who need it.
Having a sibling with a developmental disability can be challenging. But it can also be very fulfilling — we are positively influenced and acquire life lessons that will make navigating life less challenging. So today, celebrate your sibling with a disability a little bit more.
Sources:
cdc.gov - Developmental Disabilities Facts
nacdd.org/ddam1 - Developmental Disabilities Awareness Month
digitalcommons.liberty.edu –Possible Psychosocial Benefits of Having a Sibling with a Disability
courses.lumenlearning.com – working with people with developmental disabilities
dsagsl.org – Behavior Guide for Down syndrome
ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2811332/#R34 - Parenting Children with Developmental Delays: The Role of Positive Beliefs
Sunshinebehavioralhealth.com - substance abuse treatment services
nidcd.nih.gov - Autism Spectrum Disorder Communication Problems Children
deronschool.org – Children with Developmental Disabilities 5 Communication Tips
Picture: www.tradingwithrayner.com/life-lessons/
Siblings with a Mission is a non-profit, international organization established to serve and support siblings of individuals with complex health conditions and developmental disabilities. All images are found on Google images and are solely used for educational purposes. The stories and advice provided by Siblings with a Mission are not to be replaced by professional advice and counseling but to be considered as an additional source of support.
